It’s Hard

Tonight was rough. I’m not gonna lie. Watching your child suffer (even when it is about 9th grade basketball) is terrible. You feel helpless. You feel upset. You feel sad. And your heart breaks because there is really nothing you can do or say in that moment that will help. And yet, you try. You try to say the right thing. You try to give encouragement. You try to make a joke.  You confirm that it really does suck. And you don’t tell them that it will be better or that in the bigger picture, it really isn’t that big a deal because that doesn’t help right now. You stumble. But you try. 

And you want to cry because you are hurting for your child, but you don’t. You wait to break down with your sister, your husband and your friend. You know that making the team is all your child wants in that moment (made even harder by the fact that all his friends made the team). And you know this is not the last disappointment we will have to deal with.  And you know this won’t be the last time you feel like this. But, you really wish it would be.  Cuz feeling like you can’t help your child is a terrible feeling.