Nope

After having the jubilation of T-man's district wrestling success, I picked up D-man from Lacrosse and it was the exact opposite. As he predicted, he made the "C" team and all his friends made the JV team. So, while he is still on the team, he is processing the outcome. It's so hard to know what to say and how to help. I tried to affirm that it sucks and while not the outcome he wanted, there are things we can learn from this and how you choose to react says a lot about who you are. And sometimes life isn't fair and even if you do the "right" things and other kids don't, that doesn't mean that things will always fall in your favor. And how to react to disappointment is important. You can choose to quit or you can step it up. And, of course, I gave him several hugs (and went and got shakes from McDonald's).

So, how do you use this as an opportunity to work with the coach to get better? How do you use this as an opportunity to advocate for yourself? How do you use this as an opportunity to ask for help and advice? How do you show that you deserve to be considered for the other team in the future? How do you play your hardest so you stand out more and ensure coach doesn't have a reason to take you off the field for someone else? How do you position yourself for success by aligning with those that are better than you are so you are pushed and grow? I gave him examples for me from work when I just expected people to notice I was doing good work. And at times, that isn't enough. You have to ask for more. You have to ask for feedback. And when others get put on projects you think you should be on, you fight harder next time.

By the end of the night, he seemed to be better, but the disappointment is still there. And while he fully expects the season to now stink, he's self aware to say that he knows that may not be the case.  And we can hope that is a great season and that he has a great time. After dinner, we were playing our words game and one of the words was "nope." And D-man said, "Did I make the team I wanted? Nope. Am I giving up? Nope." So, the message is sinking in. Now we just hope that it is a good experience and that he comes out fighting.

And talking about life lessons, he made me proud today for a completely different reason. After talking with me in the car about all of this, the first thing he did when he came in was go congratulate his brother. He was hurting and he was able to celebrate his brother. These boys obviously have their moments, but in the end, they have each other's backs and I couldn't be happier about that. And being kind to others in more important than all this other stuff anyway.